What is success...

It was pouring that evening when we brought our dad back home from the hospital - relieved that the nightmare is past at last. Our dad had undergone a surgery a few weeks back and recovered a little from the operation - but still had a long way to go. I had come to take care of him leaving my two kids with my husband and a nanny back in America. As I settled down with a cup of tea I wondered, why the weather was in a totally opposite mood. Our lives managed to the storm – and it was time to be happy after all those long hours of struggle between life and death.

Damn the weather – I thought, as I picked up the phone to call upon my little ones and hubby back in America. My spirits rose as I heard my husband’s reassuring voice that everything is going well with my kids and my son’s bubbly voice telling me a hundredth time - how he and ‘boney’ (it’s a fond way of calling one’s sister in Bengali – which we taught him even in America) misses me – and I - promising him a hundredth time - will be back as soon as ‘dada’ (his grandpa) feels a little better. We spoke for a while on the mundane things and then kept down the phone with the usual words of advice to my son – do your homework – study well - so you can be a successful man when you grow up!! My father gave out a frail laugh when he heard my words – amused how I had taken that up from my Mom.

We were laughing and chatting – totally oblivious to the unhappy nature outside, when the doorbell rang. Who could it be? I thought, as I walked down the stairs to open the door – it was Ramuda – the servant of one of our neighbors and my erstwhile teacher – Animesh Chatterjee – whom we fondly called Animeshkaku (it’s a way of showing respect to elders in Bengal by tagging a form of relation with the name – kaku is father’s brother in Bengali). From what I gathered from the crying Ramuda that Animeshkaku has suffered a massive stroke about three hours back and passed away. He came to our place to call his son in the states since it was only our home that had International phone connection in the neighborhood. Reluctantly this time, hating my self to be a harbinger, I picked up the phone and dialed his number. As the somber voice on the other end confirmed that he is Animeshkaku’s son, I broke the news to him. After a few seconds of pin-drop silence, he said – without breaking up – quite contrary to my expectation - that he is going to give a call to his home.

As I walked along with Ramuda to Animesh kaku’s place, I asked him how did it happen and did they call a doctor? (There is no 911 or its form in India still) He said yes – they did call Doctor-kaku (our only doctor neighbor) but he could not revive his master.

I found Animeshkaku in a room full of people – all of them our next-door or next-next door neighbors. Of them, some were ‘spoiled’ ones in terms of Animeshkaku – that did not go far in studies or had a good career. They spend their time in all kinds of activities – barring studies and as such enjoyed “life” during the time when most of us were busy building a career so we could enjoy our “life” later. Now they have grown up and like me – leading an ordinary life.

I focused my gaze on Animesh kaku’s face - and it was serene and yet smiling – happy to be able to cover the journey successfully. As I turned towards the other corner of the room, I found that the women were busy consoling a wailing kakima (Animesh kaku’s wife and our aunt) and the men eagerly waiting to hear back from his son – to hear what they need to do with the body till he comes home. After half or so hour, the phone rang, and yes – it was indeed his son. I was the one to pick up the phone as Kakima was not in a position to speak. With the usual somberness, he said that he is terribly busy with his latest project and cannot in any way – come to India at this point in time - but he will send some money to take care of his last rites. I was aghast!! Here I was – who came all the way to take care of my ailing father leaving my 2 small kids behind – and here he was - who couldn’t come home to see his dead father for the last time!!! Well, that must be the way with successful men – I thought.

The moment I delivered the message, there was a dead silence in the room – even kakima’s wailing stopped at the shock!!

Within that time my thoughts raced – Animeshkaku was a teacher in our local schools – a very tough teacher indeed. He loved to evaluate his students’ success by their success in the exams. To him, all those were spoiled who did not do well in the exams. Expectantly, his only son – a wonderful boy that he was – was very good in studies. He never stopped talking about how excellent student his son was and what great things he had in store in the future. The way Animeshkaku talked, mediocrity seemed to be a retardation – that promised of a bleak future – an unsuccessful life!! His words really murdered one’s self-esteem. I remembered, as an ordinary student that I was, how I avoided the mere sight of him.

Anyhow, true to the expectation, his son was admitted to a premier institution in India. True to the expectation as well, I got into a ‘mediocre’ institution and got into an ordinary “software developer” job while he got a call from another premier institution for further studies – this time from America. I still remember how happy he was – telling everyone (not sparing even the street vendors from whom he regularly bought stuff) that his son has made it to a great university in America. After a long struggle, I made it to America as well – but not as a senior nuclear scientist (as was his son) – a mere worker bee.

My thoughts were broken by one of those in the room – telling me that they are prepared to take him for his last rites.

As we prepared him for his last journey – I could not help asking myself “what” is success in human life? IS it to make a lot of money, be famous, do great things for the world or keep up with the relationships that God has bonded us with..

I did not know the answer – do you?